We start our journey in some cases never knowing of the pregnancy until after birth or some never. With only the birthmothers approval or consent would we ever know. She has that knowledge we are not aware we don’t get to feel birth we are there to support them while pregnant that’s our responsibility. As fathers your responsible for the life you created. When this is taken away from the start we are blindfolded from that point on. We are left out of those months of feeling compassion and joy that we created something. Some may have that chance and just not ready to face those trials. But jump foreword when they are adults and ask who there father is. Do you as a birthmother hold onto the grudge or disagreements because of how you feel. Is it your choice to make your child’s mind up before they even meet.
Choice they never had a choice. They didn’t say ok to giving them up. They didn’t have a voice than and to keep a father out of a choice is unfair for the child. If they have questions, have answers that are open for them to make their own decision. Based on there communication. (Is it possible for a birthfather to have communication thru letters? given to them of age of discovery)
I had to direct that to birthmothers the research is just so one-sided. In the stories I see I don’t see a comment or a message from the birthfathers, how would there story differ from the birthmothers side. Do birthfathers not have the right too make there defense. Is it game set match one chance and it’s finished. ? All stories have a second side to them if it involves two people. Who gets to decide who was right or wrong. Let the child decide.
I guess I could be called lucky, since me and the birthmother kept in contact for her. We hoped she would find us. The birthmother and myself we talked on her birthday every year we never had forgotten her and moved on with our lives we lived our lives knowing we had a child who may need help one day.
But for the mothers who just hold onto a grudge or a disagreement is so un thinkable. I’m not sure how old you may have been when you decided to give up your child but imagine 20 – 30 years from now and what will you hold onto when your child finds you and ask where is my father. Do you reply with he’s a deadbeat don’t look for him.
Consider what it will mean to your child. Don’t keep the fathers blindfolded